Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Episode 555 (12-14-20): The Joke's on Water

Click to listen to episode (3:30)

Sections below are the following:

Transcript of Audio
Audio Notes and Acknowledgments
Related Water Radio Episodes
For Virginia Teachers (Relevant SOLs, etc.)

Unless otherwise noted, all Web addresses mentioned were functional as of 12-11-20.


From the Cumberland Gap to the Atlantic Ocean, this is Virginia Water Radio for the week of December 14, 2020.

SOUND – ~4 sec

This week, a Mallard duck’s quacking that somewhat resembles human laughter opens an episode that I hope will bring some actual human chuckles.  As the extraordinarily difficult year 2020 winds down, it seemed worthwhile to devote an episode to a bit of water-related comic relief—that is, water jokes!  So here are nine selected from a collection by David Ladner’s environmental engineering research group at Clemson University; some have been modified slightly by Virginia Water Radio.

1.  The other day I opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time.  I was shocked!

2.  Why do sharks swim in salt water?  Because pepper makes them sneeze.

3.  What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?  Hare spray.

4.  What kind of bear enjoys hanging out in light rain?  A drizzly bear.

5.  What did one ocean say to the other ocean?  Nothing, it just waved.

6.  Thirty people are sheltering under an umbrella.  How many of them get wet?  None; who said it was raining?

7.  What do you call water that’s healthy for you?  Well water.

8.  Would you like to hear a solid water joke?  That would be ice.

And 9.  Did you hear that the ocean and the beach had fraternal twins?  Yep, one was a buoy or the other was a gull.

Even with this year’s public health and economic challenges, I hope your world has some humor, aquatic or otherwise.

We close with some music named for a Saturday morning source of humor for generations of kids from the 1960s until the early 2000s.  Here’s about 20 seconds of “Kartune,” by the [now-retired] Blacksburg and Roanoke, Va.-based band, No Strings Attached.

MUSIC  - ~19 – instrumental


Virginia Water Radio is produced by the Virginia Water Resources Research Center, part of Virginia Tech’s College of Natural Resources and Environment.  For more Virginia water sounds, music, or information, visit us online at virginiawaterradio.org, or call the Water Center at (540) 231-5624.  Thanks to Ben Cosgrove for his version of “Shenandoah” to open and close the show.  In Blacksburg, I’m Alan Raflo, thanking you for listening, and wishing you health, wisdom, and good water.


The Mallard calls were recorded by Virginia Water Radio at the Virginia Tech Duck Pond in Blacksburg on December 10, 2015.

Thanks to Dr. David Ladner, Clemson University Department of Environmental Engineering and Earth Science, for permission to use jokes found on the “Water Jokes” part of his research group’s blog, online at https://cecas.clemson.edu/ladnergroup/blog/water-jokes/.

“Kartune,” from the 1992 album “Blue Roses,” is copyright by No Strings Attached and Enessay Music, used with permission.  More information about the now-retired group No Strings Attached is available online at https://www.enessay.com/index.html.

Click here if you’d like to hear the full version (2 min./22 sec.) of the “Shenandoah” arrangement/performance by Ben Cosgrove that opens and closes this episode.  More information about Mr. Cosgrove is available online at http://www.bencosgrove.com.


A bit of visual water-related humor about mosquitoes breeding in water-filled human items.  Cartoon by George Wills of Blacksburg, Va. (online at https://www.etsy.com/shop/BlacksburgArt), from “Mosquitoes and Water,” published in the March 2003 issue of Virginia Water Central Newsletter, from the Virginia Water Resources Research Center, online at https://vtechworks.lib.vt.edu/handle/10919/49331.


Used for Audio 

David Ladner, Clemson University Department of Environmental Engineering and Earth Sciences, online at https://www.clemson.edu/cecas/departments/eees/people/facultydirectory/ladner.html.  Dr. Ladner’s research group’s “Water Jokes” site is online at https://cecas.clemson.edu/ladnergroup/blog/water-jokes/.

The Outfall Podcast, “Water Jokes: Misdirection and Surprise,” 5 min./7 sec., online at https://theoutfall.com/short/misdirection-and-surprise/. 

Gail Sullivan, Saturday morning cartoons are no more, Washington Post, September 30, 2014.

National Paralegal College/Law Shelf Educational Media, “Copyright Protection: Can a joke be copyrighted?” online at https://lawshelf.com/shortvideoscontentview/copyright-protection-can-a-joke-be-copyrighted/.

For More Water Jokes and Puns

Kidadl, “53 Water Jokes and Puns That Will Have You Crying from Laughter,” online at https://www.kidadl.com/articles/water-puns-and-jokes-that-will-have-you-crying-with-laughter. 


All Water Radio episodes are listed by category at the Index link above (http://www.virginiawaterradio.org/p/index.html).  See particularly the “Overall Importance of Water” subject category. 

Following are links to some other episodes on water imagery and other language devices.

Episode 142, 12-31-12 – John McCutcheon’s “Water from Another Time.”

Episode 200, 2-10-14 – “River Runs Dry” by Kat Mills.

Episode 296, 12-28-15 – Setting a Course for 2016 with “On a Ship” by Kat Mills.

Episode 401, 1-1-18 – Diving into 2018 with “Driving Rain” by Chamomile and Whiskey.

Episode 547, 10-19-20 – A Sprinkling of Water Expressions, Featuring "Love Rain Down" by Carbon Leaf.

Episode 548, 10-26-20 – Hello to Halloween with Water Readings and “A Little Fright Music” by Torrin Hallett. 


Following are some Virginia Standards of Learning (SOLs) that may be supported by this episode’s audio/transcript, sources, or other information included in this post.

2020 Music SOLs 

SOLs at various grade levels that call for “examining the relationship of music to the other fine arts and other fields of knowledge.”

2017 English SOLs

5.4, 6.5, 7.4, 8.4, 8.5, 9.3, 9.4, 10.3, 10.4, 11.4 – symbols, imagery, figurative language, and other literary devices.

Virginia’s SOLs are available from the Virginia Department of Education, online at http://www.doe.virginia.gov/testing/.

Following are links to Water Radio episodes (various topics) designed especially for certain K-12 grade levels.

Episode 250, 1-26-15 – on boiling, for kindergarten through 3rd grade.

Episode 255, 3-2-15 – on density, for 5th and 6th grade.

Episode 282, 9-21-15 – on living vs. non-living, for kindergarten.

Episode 309, 3-28-16 – on temperature regulation in animals, for kindergarten through 12th grade.

Episode 333, 9-12-16 – on dissolved gases, especially dissolved oxygen in aquatic habitats, for 5th grade.

Episode 403, 1-15-18 – on freezing and ice, for kindergarten through 3rd grade.

Episode 404, 1-22-18 – on ice on ponds and lakes, for 4th through 8th grade.

Episode 406, 2-5-18 – on ice on rivers, for middle school.

Episode 407, 2-12-18 – on snow chemistry and physics, for high school.

Episode 483, 7-29-19 – on buoyancy and drag, for middle school and high school.

Episode 524, 5-11-20 – on sounds by water-related animals, for elementary school through high school.

Episode 531, 6-29-20 – on various ways that animals get water, for 3rd and 4th grade.

Episode 539, 8-24-20 – on basic numbers and facts about Virginia’s water resources, for 4th and 6th grade.